Having sex for the first time is a very personal matter and an individual experience. That’s because every girl is unique. Sex may cause different emotions in every girl and it may mean different things. So, I write this article with caution because your first time will be remembered and I know how sensitive girls are. With that said, I present some tips to make the first time you’ll have sex a pleasurable one. In a few words the secret to succeed is “Communication”…
Before you proceed with having sex you must talk to your partner about protection measures. In this cruel world there’s the danger of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). It may feel awkward to talk about protection when you and your partner will likely want to enjoy your first time as soon as possible and have fun. But take your time. Believe me, communication is important and being safe will relax you. Read my article about how to avoid STDs and choose to use a condom. If you and your partner are totally devoted to each other and STD-free then you may skip condom use. If that’s the case agree to be STD-tested first and then proceed.
Next you must make sure you give your enthusiastic consent to have sex. You must feel excited and remember that because it is your first time it doesn’t have to be successful (but it may be). Just because you will proceed with the sexual intercourse doesn’t mean you have to finish it. You have the option to pause the activity or stop it. The same applies for your sexual partner. What’s important in my point is that you have to be excited and enthusiastic about the whole sex issue. Good communication as things progress will help you with that.
It is normal to be nervous when it is your first time but try to relax and focus on the sensations. In order to achieve relaxation and allow yourself to enjoy the experience, you can perform deep breathing which will help you let go of all the negative thoughts. If you want to enjoy sex you must know your body very well so try to focus on how the different parts of your body feel. Also, how the body of your sex partner feels against yours and by that I don’t mean to focus on your vagina or his penis but other body parts as well. For example, how you feel when he touches your hips or hair with his hands.
When it comes to your first time foreplay is important. I mention foreplay in many of my articles here on LifeSexual blog because it is very important especially for women. Sex experts say that you have more chances to experience an orgasm from fingering or oral sex than from classic vaginal penetration (read this oral sex introduction). Talk to your partner about the importance of foreplay and agree not to see it as something you do before moving to the actual sexual intercourse. Kissing also plays an important role in sexual stimulation (as part of foreplay) so don’t neglect it…
I know you are worrying that since it is your first time, you are inexperienced and you might not perform well. But if you communicate with your partner about these worries and affirm that you both want to offer pleasure to each other, you have nothing to be afraid of. If you are eager to please your sex partner he will notice and he’ll have a lot more fun so there’s no need to worry about your performance. Questions like “Does that feel well?” or “How does it feel when I… (you name it)”, will give him a chance to express appreciation. It will also allow the both of you to ask for something a little bit different if there’s something you don’t like. You can read my article with 6 psychology tips to please a man during sex to get an idea about how to please your partner.
Most girls will not talk to their partner about what they like/enjoy and what they don’t like. Don’t be like that. Telling him that something doesn’t feel good is not an attack against him. If your sexual partner cares about you he should be happy to know what makes you feel good. Of course, the secret is to first know what YOU want. Talking will help the both of you progress together, affirm what parts of the intercourse you enjoyed and agree about the things you want to try next time.
Having an orgasm is a good thing but it doesn’t have to be a priority for you because it may not come the first time you are having sex. Don’t pressure yourself to pretend you are having an orgasm no matter how much you want one. Orgasming should be a fun goal not a responsibility. It should be something you and your partner will achieve by working together. Read my article about how to have an orgasm on time every time. Educate yourself about orgasmic dysfunction and learn how to treat it
It’s OK if you don’t want to use lubricant. I know… Your partner may think that using it is a sign that you’re not turned on enough. But know that a good lubricant can turn your first time into a much more pleasurable experience. You can use a silicone-based or water-based lubricant with a condom and you can be sure that the condom will not brake. You’ll stay safe and at the same time help your body feel the amazing sensations of sex.
The above are just some tips that will help you enjoy your first sexual intercourse. Having sex for the first time doesn’t have to be a 100% success. Don’t be afraid of failure. Same goes for your partner. He might not perform well the first time… Well that’s OK, don’t blame him. Good sex might take some time to achieve. And don’t be fooled by teen shows and movies presenting first time as something that ends with simultaneous orgasm. This is very unrealistic. You should communicate with your partner and work together in order to better enjoy sex (Attention ladies: Here’s why you can’t reach an orgasm!).
Hope you enjoyed this article and I wish you a happy and fulfilling First Time! If you are among those girls who don’t know what they want you should experiment with touching yourself and your different body parts to discover what you enjoy the most (watch this video with the benefits of masturbation)…