I know. Breakups are terrible. When you think you’ve found the man of your dreams, a lover and a friend to share thoughts, experiences and the rest of your life maybe, you suddenly lose the earth under your feet and you are faced with a breakup. Is there anything more painful than this? A toothache maybe. But seriously, breakups equal a “sudden death” and here is a mini guide to help you survive and move on…
1. You have the right to be sad.
Modern psychology and relationship experts tell us that it is beneficial to cry and scream maybe. You have permission to be sad. People feel very pressured these days, so it is very difficult to be OK when a relationship ends. What you need to do is be kind with yourself and allow to be in the space of sadness. Some people will tell you that you must not feel this way and that you must get over it but if you listen to them you will only waste your emotional energy. When you allow yourself to be sad you choose to experience the real sense of a breakup and you become the best version of yourself. If you give yourself some time, be sure that you will overcome all of the sadness and find some better man (don’t hurry though).
2. Always keep in mind that people are changing.
It is a fact and no matter what they tell you, people grow and change. When you breakup with someone you love it’s difficult not to be angry and it is easy to miss the bigger picture. Maybe your loved one could not evolve in the same way as you. Maybe your interests in life were different or maybe there wasn’t enough of a connection. After all we are not all meant to be with each other. You must understand that there is the possibility of an ending even for a great relationship. Most importantly, you must keep in mind that you cannot control the future. All this “food for thought”
should help you overcome the breakup.
3. Appreciate your relationship for what it was.
There’s no reason to try to present your relationship as junk to justify the breakup. Maybe it was a healthy relationship and if that’s true you must honor it. Don’t focus on the negative aspects but on the positive side of the heartbreak and the positive side is that it will show you that you are hard to brake and a survivor. Don’t disrespect your ex intentionally. It’s good to try and create distance between yourself and this past relationship but if you want to take it to the next level and be on top of the situation, never try to hurt the feelings of your ex by being
disrespectful because that relationship had a part of you in it. If you want to take revenge from him the best you can do is continue living your amazing, wonderful life.
4. Write your feelings down.
If you want to successfully survive the breakup you must achieve demystification of your ex and your past relationship. Experts tell us that the best way to do this is by writing down your feelings now that you feel so sad. Is this easy? Really, it’s not and it may lead to tears. But if you put it down on paper you will easily demystify it and let it go. You must not only write how sad you feel but also how wonderful, beautiful, blessed person you are. Write about all the good things in your life. Keep this paper in your desk or purse and read it often (especially when you feel sad). This will help you in the future when you want to identify the positives in your life and you are ready to move on to a new relationship.
5. Remember that you are a great girl
After a breakup we tend to blame ourselves and this is something we cannot easily get away from. So, even if you were the one doing the brakeup, forgive yourself and don’t feel shame. There’s no shame in a brakeup. This separation from your ex may lead you to believe that you are not a good, beautiful, amazing girl. The end of a relationship may be a kick in the stomach but you will get over it eventually. Try to be close to people you
love. Don’t isolate yourself. Modern society makes us believe that we are valuable only if we have a partner by our side. This is not true at all. We can be wonderful and truly worthy all by ourselves. You are a goddess even without a loving partner. As soon as you realize this you will survive the breakup and move on with your life.
I hope the advice in this article will help you see that a breakup is not the end of the world. It’s not something completely insignificant either. If you work a little bit to help yourself, you will get over the sadness and anger and move on to the next chapter of your life.
I have a superb resource that you can use when you find another man worthy of you. It is called the “Penguin Method” and it will show you how to make a man obey you, fulfill your desires and be devoted to you for life. I know it sounds somewhat strange (and maybe unethical) but it is achievable. Read more…